Last night while we were having dinner at Bahama Breeze, our waitress got that deer-in-headlights look when we told her it was our 8-year anniversary. I don’t know if we look younger than we are, but it got me thinking. Why was this year our best year of marriage yet?
I know what you all are thinking – it’s just you two, of course it’s easy! Statistics say that marital satisfaction may well drop as much as 50-90% after having kids. However, I was reading this interesting article which stated that, “the couples who seem happiest after children have worked hard to improve themselves.” I agree with this statement wholeheartedly and believe that’s the key.
We stopped trying to make the other one happy. Because we were focusing on our own “stuff”, we both enjoyed an amazing breath of freedom. This doesn’t mean we didn’t do nice things for each other – my anniversary flowers above are proof of this! This did mean that we were both able to grow and try new things without worrying about what the other one thought.
When I took the first bite of this chocolate island dessert last night, I closed my eyes and savored it. I wasn’t thinking about all the other desserts I’ve ever had in the past or if there is an even better dessert that I might try in the future. We lived in the present. We had tough stuff happen this year, but we milked each moment for all it was worth (both good and bad) and made it through!
I cried twice last night. First, as I was reading the heartfelt card Ben gave me and then again during the movie (One Day) we watched. Both were out of sheer happiness because I felt incredibly lucky to have married such an amazing, smart, witty, sexy man who I know will continue to challenge and support me the rest of my life. You can read Ben’s thoughts on our anniversary on his blog here. Why do you love being married?